Condolence & Memory Journal

Happy Birthday today Daddy in Heaven.....Tuesday December 17, 2019 Your 95th birthday. I know you are in a better place and no more suffering, but I sure miss you and LOVE you so much. So often I just wish I could come pass and we could talk or go bowling or just go to Pio's and get some chicken wings.
It has been a busy year here. Beginning of February I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and by the 22nd I had a bilateral mastectomy. Wasn't easy, but I am still fighting for my life and some days are harder than others.
July, John had to have his left knee replaced and he is improving, at first he couldn't wait to have the right done, but since then he is in no hurry to have the right done. Guess it will have to get pretty bad before he is ready.
Then on Nov 11th I had to have a revision from my February surgery because of all the discomfort I was still having.Too much scar tissue, fatty cells, and lumps and bumps I didn't have before, also had some necrosis (dead skin). I am pretty well healed and feel so much better, at least I am more comfortable and looks better with the all lump and bumps gone.
We have a new Grandson this year in Sept......Charlie Michael----John & Julie had a baby boy and she end up having to have a c-section. She has just went back to work about a month ago.
They have moved and I missed them being just down the street from us. So Hannah is 8 and Shelby will be 3 in January. I am sure hoping you have run into Alexander by now---he would be 5 now, but he joined you in Heaven Oct 15, 2014. He only lived about 2 hours just born to soon and weighing only 1 pound 5 ounces.
Kathy's little girl Katrina is 9 and growing.
Carla and Katie are out of the house. Carla is away at college and Katie is still going to nursing school and has Gavin who is 15 months old.
the family is growing.
Well you have a wonderful blessed Christmas in Heaven.
Looking forward into seeing you when God calls me home to see you.
Love charlene

Posted by Charlene Stillman Stillman - Saint Peters, MO - Daughter   December 17, 2019

Dear Dad, so difficult to think it has been 26 years ago that you left this earth and went to your eternal home with Jesus. You are greatly missed and so loved. So many times I wish I could just stop pass and see you or even make a phone call to you in heaven.
I still LOVE you and miss you dearly. Things have never been the same since you are gone, especially Christmas because you made Christmas happen
Well going to say bye for now and write on your birthday page.
Love
Charlene

Posted by Charlene Stillman Stillman - Saint Peters, MO - Daughter   December 17, 2019

Dear Dad, you are so missed and Christmas has never been the same without you because YOU were the one who made Christmas happen ever since I was a small child. I have been having some rough times and this would be a good time for us to be able to talk, but knowing this isn't possible I just pray and talk with GOD more often now. If you were still here you would be a great grand father to Katie who is 21 and Carla who is 18 and be going to college come August--Vicky's children. Angie never has children to live, but loss 2 babies. Kathy has Katrina who is now 8 and then John Jr has Hannah 7; Shelby who will be 2 on Jan 4 2019, they loss a baby boy Alexander who only lived about 2 hours and praying you have met him and having some good times with him. Then you would also be a great great grandfather to Gavin who was born Sept 26, 2018 this is Katie's little boy. It is hard to believe that I am a Great Grandma--I never would have guessed I would be a great grandma.
You have no idea how the world has changed since you are gone. Some are better but a lot of wrong things and so much violence any more.
I know I miss you so very much, but you are in a much better place and someday we will be reunited again. I am just doing a lot of struggling here lately and especially with all I have dealt with the pass 17 month with my eyes, but finally after finding a third doctor that said I needed glasses,the price I've paid for all the eye drops I had to use I could have bought me 3 pair of glasses, since they have went up in price also. $455.00 for glasses, but so happy to be able to see far away and read things up close again.
So in 4 more days it would be your birthday so Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas. Love and Miss you dearly.
Charlene

Posted by Charlene Stillman - St peters, MO - Daughter   December 13, 2018

Candle

LOVE you Dad and Miss you. One day we will be reunited. Hugs of Love.
Charlene

Posted by Charlene STILLMAN - St peters, MO - Daughter   December 13, 2018

Hard to believe Dad another year has gone by so quickly. 24 years ago you were still here and then 2 days later you left this world of earth and passed on to be with the Lord Jesus Christ. I know one day we will be together again.
A lot going on her...I had cataract surgery this year and nothing has went correctly with it yet; seeing the cornea specialist again today for the third time. Actually it was brought up of having a possible cornea transplant, but I think I am opting of this plan at the time.
Hannah had her tonsils removed on Monday and today she is feeling pretty bad, but they always say the third day is the worse. Shelby is growing and is 11 1/2 months old already...time goes very quickly.
Trying to get things ready for Christmas, but just not into it yet like I need to be. Sunday will be your 93rd birthday, but I bet it is better in heaven. Little Alexander would be 3 and we miss him, but knowing he is in a better place of no pain and sorrow.
You would be totally upset with the way things on this earth are going these days, so many killings and violent things happening. Down south and the east coast has been dealing with Hurricanes. West coast Fires and so many homes have been destroyed (and towns)
Real Estate taxes keep rising and the cost of things is shocking. Just comparing things in the 60-80 to now has tripled or even more. vehicles start at about $26,000 and higher. Thank goodness I still have my trustworthy 2004 and it runs goods. You taught me well to care for it and it will last.
Well about all for now. You are so missed and loved. Just to have a moment with you would be a miracle.
I remember the night after you passed---YOU came vividly to me in a dream and Jesus was standing behind you----You were shielding the BRIGHTNESS and you told me "I am sorry, I love you and I forgive you." I will treasure that night forever.
Hugs of love from ME, and the kids and grandkids.
Charlene

Posted by charlene stillman - st peters, MO - Daughter   December 13, 2017

December 17, 2016
Happy Birthday Dad! Miss you very much. Bad weather here today. Freezing rain and went with Julie for doctor appointment which is usually a 15-20 minute drive but coming home took us 4 1/2 hours. Slippery, cars, trucks on side of roads turned sideways,in ditches and exit ramps closed because of accidents. No baby Shelby yet, but still being told anytime. Only time will tell and she will be here before we know it. Even got in a rut ourselves just several blocks away, but we finally made it safely home. Thank God!
I know Heaven is a better home than here on earth, and one day will see you again. Tell Mom hi and Alexander also. Miss you and Love you.
Charlene

Posted by charlene stillman - st peters, MO - Daughter   December 17, 2016

Candle

Dad you are heavy on my heart and I miss you very much. So many days I have cried wanting just one more moment with you. Today brought back lots of memories of that evening in your room in the hospital. I am so happy I was there for you and able to get you the headphones so you could listen to Ava Marie by Mario Lanza You were at peace and soon as the song was over you took your last breathe. I know you have no more pain and you are at rest. Just want to say how much I truly love you and miss you! Love Charlene

Posted by charlene stillman - st peters, MO - Daughter   December 15, 2016

Eve of December 14, 2016 It is so very hard to believe you have been gone now 23 years and sometimes it seems like just yesterday. I've had you heavy on my heart lately and miss you so much. Julie & John are do to have a baby any day and I am praying she might just have her on your birthday---her name will be Shelby Ann. Julie has had many difficulties with this baby also just as she did with Alexander, but she is much further along. She is not really due until January 23,2017 but with so many complications she has made it this far and been in the hospital numerous times. Just wanting a healthy baby. So you have all great-grand-daughters: Katie (19), Carla (16), Katrina (6), Hannah (5), Alexander (boy that passed 2014) and now Shelby at any time. You were so great with your grand kids and I know you would love your Great Grand even more. Christmas has never been the same since you left this earth, but I have to do my best for the grand kids. You and Mom have probably met Alexander and taking good care of him. Just wishing for a moment you could be here with us all, but I know Heaven must be so beautiful and to see Jesus is the best! Things have really changed here on earth a lot---we had our first Black President for 8 years because he got 2 terms, now Donald Trump will be our next with no political background, but that may be for the good. If we put up with Obama for 8 years--we all need to give Trump a chance. Because Hilary Clinton was also running...I just wasn't ready for a Woman President. So I am wishing you a Happy Birthday and then in another week you have also a Merry Christmas. Love ya more than you realize. Charlene

Posted by charlene stillman - st peters, MO - Daughter   December 14, 2016

December 17 2015 Happy 91st Birthday Dad. Sure miss YOU! So here is to you:
Happy Birthday to YOU
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday Dear Dad
Happy Birthday to YOU

I LOVE YOU and sending you HUGS OF LOVE

Posted by Charlene Stillman - St Peters, MO - daughter/father   December 15, 2015

Well here it is another year later--22 years now and it just seems like yesterday at times. You are so missed and I tell all the Grand-kids about you and how they would have LOVED you also. I am currently at Kathy and Chris home in Indiana and just returned home from taking Katrina to school. She is now 5 and such a chatterbox. It is very cold here and it looks as though it could snow. So I am drinking some hot chocolate trying to warm up. I went back to work this year--retirement just isn't me. Especially when you are forced to retire--I was planning on working till I was at least 67 which I am now. I work with a lot of Seniors and help care for them in their own homes. Ralph is my favorite because he reminds me so much of you and his birthday was yesterday 12/14 he turned 92 so you are close to his age. He also was in WWII and he lives on what use to be my paper route. He is built like you and is funny like you were. So I am blessed to have him. He could NEVER take your place, but he just reminds me more of YOU! Katie is 18 now and her last day of school is Dec 18, she will graduate in May 2016, starting a new job at CVS and will go to the Community College probably in January.Carla is 15--a cheer leader and is so much like her Mom (Vicky). Katrina is 5 and has the curliest, softess hair. Hannah is 4 and goes to preschool. Both Katrina and Hannah will start kindegarten next year---they are 9 months apart. John and Julie lost a baby boy Alexander last Oct 2014--Hopefully you have run across him up there in heaven. Angie is still in remission and working privately for an aged couple. Everyone seems to be doing well. John Sr is looking for a job since he is loosing his pension in 2016--so with times being difficult he is looking.
You are deeply missed and so often I think of you and tears run down my face. I still remember the day/evening you passed. I place the headphone on your ears and let you hear Mario Lanza singing Ave Marie---as it finished you passed

Posted by charlene stillman - St Peters, MO - daughter/father   December 15, 2015

Well Dad, it is hard to believe but now it is 21 years ago today that you have passed away. You are still so missed and now you also have little Alex up there to watch over---if he would have lived he would be 2 months old today. it is still so sad. Just last Wednesday when Julie ask John what he wanted for Christmas he said, "I want my baby boy!" It made me tear up.
Angie will be having surgery on Wednesday the 17th (your birthday). She is having her left kidney removed because of her surgery in October taking part of the upper kidney out has not solved her issue so between 2 doctors they said it is time for it to come out. She has been very sick lately. She will be better I pray after this surgery.
This is almost another Christmas not looking forward too. Everyone seems to be sick or just not ready. The weather has been either warm, or COLD and it keeps floppy back and forth. Yesterday it got up in the 60's and tonight it will get in the mid 30's. It really makes my body HURT. I know how you felt when it was cold. When it gets to your bones it takes forever to thaw out. I'm like you -- love the summer months and warmer weather.
Well sending you LOVE. Give Mom and Alex a hug for me!

Posted by charlene - st peters, MO - he is my DAD   December 15, 2014

Hi Daddy, just sent Mom a message. Letting you know you now also have a great-grandson to watch for up there in heaven. John & Julie had a baby boy on Oct 15 at 5:48 PM and he passed at 8:18 PM he only lived about 2 hours. He was so tiny. He weighed 1 pound 1.6 ounces and was 11 1/2 inches long. Julie was only 22 weeks pregnant. they tried so hard to hold onto him, but he just was too small and his lungs were not developed enough for him to survive. All his great-grandparents are up there looking out after him. His name is Alexander Lee Stillman and he would be called ALEX.
A very sad and difficult time for John and Julie, they so dearly wanted this little boy. His big sister Hannah will never know him as best friends, playmate and caring for each other. So you all watch out for him until we all see each other again. Love and miss you also.

Posted by charlene - St PETERS, MO - Daughter   October 19, 2014

Hi Daddy, you are still truly missed, going on 21 years this December. I think of you often to this day yet. All the fun I had growing up and you teaching me things. Bowling, Softball, pinball, cards.
You would be so proud of your grandchildren. Believe it or not you have had 4 Lovely and beautiful grand daughter. Katie 17; Carla 14, Katrina will be 4 this Oct 28 and Hannah who turned 3 this pass June 21.
I FINALLY got your Military Marker on your grave. It took me several months to gather all the paper work and a lot of red tape to go through since all your records were destroyed in the Fire at the Record Center, but Jefferson City had what I needed and I had some wonderful people that help me accomplish this. It cost some money, but you were every bit worth it. I just wished I would have done it sooner.
Katie and Carla since they are older get to hear stories about you a lot. They too wished they could have met you. You sounded FUN as they tell me.
I just sent a Memory to Mom---hard to believe it is 5 years for her.
Just letting you know YOU are missed and LOVED. I still remember the night you and Jesus came to visit me and you gave me the message I needed to hear for many years. I am Sorry, I forgive you, and I LOVE YOU. I have told that to many people about my vision and I have always TREASURED that memory.
Love and miss you
charlene

Posted by Charlene Stillman - St Peters - Daughter   October 09, 2014

Well here it is another year has gone by without you; there are numerous days that I think about you. Your anniversary, your birthday and how you loved Christmas time. All the times you would take me out to play cork-ball with the guys and I would have to chase the ball that went pass all you guys. Playing the pinball machine down at North End grocery store. The drive-in theater.
Then especially the day you walked me down the isle for my wedding and gave my hand to John.
I also remembered when we adopted Vicky and you said "I will tell her I was right there when you were born." You loved all 4 of your grandchildren and you did spoil them.
Oh how I wished you could have seen all the kids for their marriage and now the 4 beautiful great-granddaughters you have: Katie, Carla, Katrina and Hannah. You would be so proud of everybody in the family.
Knowing you are in a better place for what this world has turned into. There is so much violence and killing these days, and ghee we won't even go to where our government has taken us, but I know you wouldn't agree with it.
Well on your 20th anniversary in your new life just letting you know you are missed, loved.
Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas.
Someday we will meet again.
Love ya daddy
charlene

Posted by charlene stillman - st peters, MO - daughter   December 14, 2013

Candle

Happy birthday, dad, you're always being thought of and missed. Hope you and mom are together, happy, and doing well. Love you both Dale

Posted by Dale Fredenburg - Piedmont, MO - Son   December 14, 2012